"It's a bit early to say 'love', don't you think?" Aidan responds quietly, frowning a bit as he glances over at Kai before ducking his head and returning his attention to his stew. "Midnight's nice, but he's not..."
He's not her. No one is.
Maybe Aidan needs to accept that and move on, himself... but sometimes it seems near sacrilege to even contemplate such a thing.
"Yeah, I know," Kai replies quietly, his voice cracking just a little. He misses her too. But... "He needs it to move on, even if it's not going to be love, it's something else than a dead woman."
He sounds a bit harsh, but he's not going to apologize. She was so loved when she was alive and he adored her just as well. But there might be a little bit of bitterness in him for it as well. Grey is moving on - finally - but Aidan still seems hooked up on her. Not that Kai had thought he would be the Midnight to Aidan's Grey but it's a thing that stings, even still.
"Maybe you should try to get over her too," he says quietly into his bowl of stew, not looking at Aidan while he pokes the veggies with his spoon.
There's a visible jerk and stiffening to Aidan's shoulders, but he doesn't look to Kai to confirm what he'd heard. He doesn't even bother denying he's still not completely over his childhood love, but he at least answers, voice a little hollow as it is quiet, "She was never mine to get over. I feel like... I shouldn't miss her as much as I do, because of it..."
"It doesn't matter that you weren't with her the way Grey was," Kai says, his breathing controlled and awfully quiet. God, he wants to sometimes just kick the world in the nuts. He doesn't want to be the person who Aidan gets to confess just how much he cared about his sister, and he wants to be that person at the same time, because there isn't a single person in the world he trusts to do a good enough job of it. Not with Aidan.
Yet, it makes his heart feel like a shrunken prune, all dried up and sad.
"You loved her," he says quietly. "And I promise you, she loved you too. Maybe not in the way you wanted, but in a way that matters. So, you get to grieve her just as much. I suppose it's time to start, so one day you can find happiness with someone else too."
The selkie doesn't respond to that, just quietly eating the stew, willing himself not to linger on thoughts of the long-dead woman. Especially not when he can feel how tense Kai actually is, next to him. He might not show it easily, but Aidan's spent long enough around the man to be able to pick up on the subtle cues, and now it's a reminder that it wasn't just a woman he loved who died, she'd been a sister, too.
He mutely presses his shoulder to Kai's, not saying anything beyond a quiet, "I'm sorry."
"What for?" Kai asks, finally turning to look at Aidan because the man is still one of his best friends. Even if Kai wants to kiss his stupid face and hold him and whisper dumb things into his ear until he stops crying.
"Don't apologize," he huffs and leans against Aidan's shoulder, his lips pursing as he leans his temple against Aidan's jaw and just sighs.
"We're all fucked because of it. You don't get to be the exception."
There's a long somber silence after that. Aidan can't, and won't explain to Kai his confused emotions, how sometimes he feels that same affection he'd had for the woman for Kai, and he shouldn't be that... fickle. Or so shallow to be so quick to move on with his emotions for her brother. It's insulting to both siblings. He loves Kai too much to screw things up just because of his own confused emotions.
No, best let his head and heart cool and just... recover.
He has a bite of the bread, quietly savoring the contrast of sweet and sour, then commenting softly, "The bread is good."
"Who gave you the permission to change subject?" Kai asks with a small twitch at the corners of his mouth. He could joke this off and they could have a really nice evening. He's done it before. He knows Aidan is more than eager to let it go. He doesn't want to touch the subject at all if he doesn't have to.
"You'll have to talk about it eventually," he says quietly, his forehead pressed against Aidan's jaw, beard prickling his skin as he breathes out in a rush. "It doesn't have to be me who you talk with but please, talk to someone. The ache that you have for her, I can practically feel it in my gut and..."
He quiets, just breathing softly for a moment. "I just want you to be happy."
Aidan glances over quietly, hands cupping around the warm bowl. "... I'm not unhappy," he argues, a brief smile making his lips quirk to one side. "And it's not as if I spend every waking moment thinking of her..."
Not that he's likely to convince anyone of that given how he always just seems moody by nature.
"But I mean happy in a way where you get to kiss someone with that cute mouth of yours and someone gets to map all your freckles with their eager lips," Kai says in a light tone, teasing now. His arm wraps around Aidan's waist and he sighs as he leans against Aidan, his whole posture suggesting he's giving up on this topic.
"I swear, one day the vamps on this ship will sniff you out and no matter how much I fight for your virginity, it's not going to help, darling."
"What?" Kai laughs as he reaches over to steady Aidan's stew. It would be such a shame if he'd drop it now. "Are you not a virgin?" he asks, those golden eyes searching Aidan's with a hint of teasing mixed in with all that fondness.
"Does that matter?" he asks, more than a bit exasperated and maybe even a bit plaintive, wanting to move past the subject because why are they discussing this?
"No," Kai laughs and bumps his shoulder against Aidan's as he moves away from the man, letting some well needed air between them. "I'm just teasing you."
The man huffs, shaking his head and blowing on his next spoonful of stew, willing his cheeks to cool off because he's a grown man and this is ridiculous.
"As always, everyone gang up on Aidan," he grumbles, rolling his eyes, though he doesn't feel all that put out by it. Besides, Kai and Grey were usually more likely to tackle each other for daring to tease Aidan in front of them, as if only they themselves were allowed that privilege.
"Oh, please," Kai huffed with a soft laughter, then leaned in to roll his eyes at Aidan, then out of a whim presses a kiss to his cheek. "You're alright. No one is quite as adored as you are."
Then he goes back to his bowl of stew with a small, lingering smile.
There's another little huff, but Aidan's got a smile on his lips that he hides behind his own stew, cheeks just a tad pink and a faint flutter in his chest from that kiss that he absolutely refuses to address. That way lies madness.
"I suppose that's why I get to have some company tonight when you could instead be out, enjoying the evening on land for once," he comments, bumping shoulders lightly.
Kai tilts his head to actually look at Aidan, his smile reaching both of his golden eyes and crinkling the skin around them to merry crowfeet.
"I could be fucking a whore or drinking myself sick," he agrees. "But here I am, making stew for you." His smile turns into a grin as he ventures: "I don't know if that says I'm getting old or if I like you more than whores and liquor."
"Careful, I might swoon with that sort of declaration," Aidan murmurs, smiling sidelong to Kai. Then he has another bite of his stew, and adds, quietly, "The stew is delicious, by the way."
"My god," Kai murmurs, his voice mockingly shocked. "I don't know the power of my own words."
Sad as it is. A part of him feels a dig in his gut because damn if he doesn't actually want that. And Aidan keeps telling him in so many words how it's never going to happen.
"I'm glad you like it," he says then, smile calm and warm, his gaze in the stew that he keeps poking.
Aidan chuckles softly and has another piece of fish to chew on, commenting wistfully, "You'll make someone a wonderful husband, some day. Where will I be, then? Who will feed poor little old Aidan?"
The last part is meant as a tease, but Aidan doesn't like how it feels... uncomfortable, inside. It leaves him feeling prematurely sad and even bitter, but so what? Kai deserves all the happiness in the world. He deserves a partner who would adore him for how wonderful he is.
Okay, that... That hurt. It takes Kai a moment to gain his equilibrium after that. His brow furrows and he stares into his bowl with something of a sickening sadness rising in his throat.
It's been... most of his life. He's been away at the sea, he's done a great deal of things, and the depth of his feelings for Aidan just keep getting deeper and worse. He's never going to marry and have all that other people seem to enjoy so much.
"I don't think so," he finally says with a smile that is a little frayed at the corners but brave enough to endure. "Don't you worry about that, darling. You'll have a nice wife making stew for you while I'll be out here, sailing the seas..."
Aidan forces a quiet laugh at that. "Is that so? Well, according to each our own predictions, I suppose you'd best find my skin and just take me as your sea bride. Then you can make me all the stew in the world while we sail the seas until we're both haggard and crooked old men."
Even as a joke... the thought is surprisingly enticing. Dangerously so. Aidan focuses on finishing the fish, then, letting the crisp crunch of bones distract him from those thoughts he shouldn't be entertaining.
Kai draws in a breath and can't even force a laugh at that. He just stares into his bowl and thinks about how he would love that life, sailing around the seas with Aidan until they're both wrinkled and old. But while he would love it, he also has no idea how long he would be able to be without kissing the man.
He glances at Aidan from the corner of his eye and then sighs, all fight leaving him as he leans onto Aidan's side and lets out a soft whine.
"I promise you, if you haven't found some little lady to love and keep your skin, I'll marry you and sail the seas with you until we're both too old to hoist a sail." He leans his cheek onto Aidan's shoulder and then suggests slowly: "I could bring back something of the female delights in the next port for you..." There are hookers that wouldn't mind going into the ships to see to the needs of some sailors. Maybe Aidan is just too shy to ask.
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perhapstomorrow2020-01-25 10:33 pm
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"Sometimes hate and... attraction, love, passion are pretty close to each other."
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He's not her. No one is.
Maybe Aidan needs to accept that and move on, himself... but sometimes it seems near sacrilege to even contemplate such a thing.
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He sounds a bit harsh, but he's not going to apologize. She was so loved when she was alive and he adored her just as well. But there might be a little bit of bitterness in him for it as well. Grey is moving on - finally - but Aidan still seems hooked up on her. Not that Kai had thought he would be the Midnight to Aidan's Grey but it's a thing that stings, even still.
"Maybe you should try to get over her too," he says quietly into his bowl of stew, not looking at Aidan while he pokes the veggies with his spoon.
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Yet, it makes his heart feel like a shrunken prune, all dried up and sad.
"You loved her," he says quietly. "And I promise you, she loved you too. Maybe not in the way you wanted, but in a way that matters. So, you get to grieve her just as much. I suppose it's time to start, so one day you can find happiness with someone else too."
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He mutely presses his shoulder to Kai's, not saying anything beyond a quiet, "I'm sorry."
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"Don't apologize," he huffs and leans against Aidan's shoulder, his lips pursing as he leans his temple against Aidan's jaw and just sighs.
"We're all fucked because of it. You don't get to be the exception."
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No, best let his head and heart cool and just... recover.
He has a bite of the bread, quietly savoring the contrast of sweet and sour, then commenting softly, "The bread is good."
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"You'll have to talk about it eventually," he says quietly, his forehead pressed against Aidan's jaw, beard prickling his skin as he breathes out in a rush. "It doesn't have to be me who you talk with but please, talk to someone. The ache that you have for her, I can practically feel it in my gut and..."
He quiets, just breathing softly for a moment. "I just want you to be happy."
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Not that he's likely to convince anyone of that given how he always just seems moody by nature.
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"I swear, one day the vamps on this ship will sniff you out and no matter how much I fight for your virginity, it's not going to help, darling."
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And it's rude.
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And he should know that. Shouldn't he?
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"As always, everyone gang up on Aidan," he grumbles, rolling his eyes, though he doesn't feel all that put out by it. Besides, Kai and Grey were usually more likely to tackle each other for daring to tease Aidan in front of them, as if only they themselves were allowed that privilege.
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Then he goes back to his bowl of stew with a small, lingering smile.
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"I suppose that's why I get to have some company tonight when you could instead be out, enjoying the evening on land for once," he comments, bumping shoulders lightly.
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"I could be fucking a whore or drinking myself sick," he agrees. "But here I am, making stew for you." His smile turns into a grin as he ventures: "I don't know if that says I'm getting old or if I like you more than whores and liquor."
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Sad as it is. A part of him feels a dig in his gut because damn if he doesn't actually want that. And Aidan keeps telling him in so many words how it's never going to happen.
"I'm glad you like it," he says then, smile calm and warm, his gaze in the stew that he keeps poking.
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The last part is meant as a tease, but Aidan doesn't like how it feels... uncomfortable, inside. It leaves him feeling prematurely sad and even bitter, but so what? Kai deserves all the happiness in the world. He deserves a partner who would adore him for how wonderful he is.
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It's been... most of his life. He's been away at the sea, he's done a great deal of things, and the depth of his feelings for Aidan just keep getting deeper and worse. He's never going to marry and have all that other people seem to enjoy so much.
"I don't think so," he finally says with a smile that is a little frayed at the corners but brave enough to endure. "Don't you worry about that, darling. You'll have a nice wife making stew for you while I'll be out here, sailing the seas..."
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Even as a joke... the thought is surprisingly enticing. Dangerously so. Aidan focuses on finishing the fish, then, letting the crisp crunch of bones distract him from those thoughts he shouldn't be entertaining.
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He glances at Aidan from the corner of his eye and then sighs, all fight leaving him as he leans onto Aidan's side and lets out a soft whine.
"I promise you, if you haven't found some little lady to love and keep your skin, I'll marry you and sail the seas with you until we're both too old to hoist a sail." He leans his cheek onto Aidan's shoulder and then suggests slowly: "I could bring back something of the female delights in the next port for you..." There are hookers that wouldn't mind going into the ships to see to the needs of some sailors. Maybe Aidan is just too shy to ask.
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